Episode 132

#132. Carpet Toast

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

January 1, 2025 · 1 hr 57 min

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PodStreet Generated · Provider: Local-mlx-whisper · Model: mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo · Generated At 2026-09-07 18:34:29

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Zaxby's is more than just a humble chicken joint.

It's a humble chicken joint with the best sauces in the world.

See, at Zaxby's, you don't just get their famous hand-breaded chicken fingers

fried to golden perfection with that flavor you know and love.

At Zaxby's, you get the sauce.

Dip, dunk, and drizzle with your choice of 12 different sauces

like Zax sauce, tongue torch, and hot honey mustard.

So if you want a whole lot of sauce, you need to find yourself a Zaxby's.

Who's got the sauce?

Zaxby's.

They get, you know, splatters and whatnot.

And look, you see, these are crooked because I stepped on them.

Oh, no.

Why were they on the floor?

To be honest, I was looking for them when I stepped on them,

a la Velma Dinkley.

Speaking of the...

Velma Dinkley always steps on her glasses on Scooby-Doo.

Oh, her last name is Dinkley?

The struggle is real.

Velma Dinkley, Shaggy is Norval Rogers, Fred Jones, and...

Ah, what's the other one's name?

Daphne?

Daphne.

I don't know Daphne's last name.

Okay.

Oh, and Scooby's last name is Dew.

Well, I'll be.

And Scrappy's as well.

Oh, crap.

Scrappy do.

Ruined everything.

So I, right before we signed on here, I have a good news, bad news thing.

Are we starting?

Yeah, right?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, we're recording.

I just did, because I was going to play a doorbell for you to start,

because that would be the indicator.

So here comes the doorbell.

Okay.

I'm warning these people if they have a dog, this might...

I hate this word.

This might trigger them.

Why are you laughing?

Because it's true.

I know.

This is the house that Jack built, y'all.

Mom?

All right.

It's in your hands now, dear.

Bing bong.

Hello, Grandma.

Hi, Grandma.

I had, like, a good news, but not a bad news, good news, and then I was like,

or is it?

Not really.

So I fixed some toast before I was going to do the show.

Who broke it?

Zaxby's is more than just a humble chicken joint. It's a humble chicken joint with the best sauces in the world. See, at Zaxby's, you don't just get their famous hand-breaded chicken fingers fried to golden perfection with that flavor you know and love. At Zaxby's, you get the sauce. Dip, dunk, and drizzle with your choice of 12 different sauces like Zax sauce, tongue torch, and hot honey mustard. So if you want a whole lot of sauce, you need to find yourself a Zaxby's. Who's got the sauce? Zaxby's. They get, you know, splatters and whatnot. And look, you see, these are crooked because I stepped on them. Oh, no. Why were they on the floor? To be honest, I was looking for them when I stepped on them, a la Velma Dinkley. Speaking of the... Velma Dinkley always steps on her glasses on Scooby-Doo. Oh, her last name is Dinkley? The struggle is real. Velma Dinkley, Shaggy is Norval Rogers, Fred Jones, and... Ah, what's the other one's name? Daphne? Daphne. I don't know Daphne's last name. Okay. Oh, and Scooby's last name is Dew. Well, I'll be. And Scrappy's as well. Oh, crap. Scrappy do. Ruined everything. Ruined everything. So I, right before we signed on here, I have a good news, bad news thing. Are we starting? Yeah, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, we're recording. I just did, because I was going to play a doorbell for you to start, because that would be the indicator. So here comes the doorbell. Okay. I'm warning these people if they have a dog, this might... I hate this word. This might trigger them. Why are you laughing? Because it's true. I know. This is the house that Jack built, y'all. Mom? All right. It's in your hands now, dear. Bing bong. Hello, Grandma. Hi, Grandma. I had, like, a good news, but not a bad news, good news, and then I was like, or is it? Not really. So I fixed some toast before I was going to do the show. Who broke it? Old joke, because you're fixing toast. Oh, who broke it? I see. Yeah, it's like vaudeville is alive again. How about this? And we are. I was toasting bread. Okay. All right. Toasted the bread. Fake buttered the bread. Yeah. I would like to, ladies and gentlemen, if we could all raise a glass to this piece of bread, I'd like to offer this small speech. Two pieces. Oh, these pieces. You're toasting the bread. They were small. Two pieces of toast. Were they artisanal breads? No, they were gluten-free, little teeny tiny. They don't really count. Oh, you know what? We haven't done a show in a long time, so I'm sorry, and thank you, and welcome back. Thanks. Thanks. Yes, and so, not my fault this time. Not my fault. Oh, it was a little bit. At the beginning, sure. But we'll get into all this. So you're toasting your artisanal bread. So I carry it into the office here. Otherwise known as the bread room. Well, I have, I dropped it. I dropped buttered toast. Now. Buttered side down, right? No. And look, I don't care. I don't, like, I am neurotic. But if somebody told me I would never pick up a piece of toast, it wasn't butter side down. Right. If you told me, though, that you would never eat toast off of the floor, I ate carpet toast. I don't care. I was like. Was it a plush carpet or a small, small nap to it? It's green shag. No, I'm kidding. The least popular character in the Marvel universe. The green shag. I'm going to get your toast. No, no, no. It's just normal carpet. Okay. You know what? It's got a significant but not extraordinary pile. Right. But, I mean, I picked it up. I even, I walked it back into the kitchen, did a full examination under the bright lights. Did you blow on it? To get any fibers off? I gave it a little dusty poo. Oh, you know what you needed? You needed some of that computer air. That compressed air. Oh, yeah. No. But that would make your toast so cold. I just kind of gave it a little dust off and then just ate it. And I was like, would you eat? Yes, absolutely. Well, I keep a, not as much down here. You keep a piece of toast on the carpet just in case. Yeah, emergency toast. Emergency toast. I very seldom eat down here at my workstation. But upstairs, the kitchen and the family room area are tremendously clean. I keep them very clean. It's probably better. Yeah. It's better to eat off the floor than some of our plates. So, or put a plate on the floor. I guess that would work. The hardwood floors, you're going to get a dog hair. I can't, I can't apologize about that. I would say the same with carpet. Yeah, I suppose. But on the, on the hardwood floor, do you ever get the things blowing around that look like dribbles? Yes. That happened when we had Sebastian here. I call them beagle bunnies. That's great. Beagle bunnies. Beagle bunnies. I would definitely do it. Yeah. Now, there are things I would not eat after I drop them on the floor. Uh-huh. Like soup. Jell-O. Jell-O, horrible. Not what you want to eat. Awful. Scramble eggs. Are they scrambled hard or soft? Carpet. Oh, oh God. Then you got to clean it. No, no, no. Wouldn't that be a nightmare? Oh, yeah. That's no yolk. That is no yolk, mister. You know, I think I inhale enough dog hair from my blankets. That is probably dirtier to sleep than it is to eat carpet toast. I just, I don't, I cannot imagine somebody being, but you know that there are people out there who are like, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Well, I remember last Thanksgiving I had people over. I said, here's the turkey, here's the mashed potatoes, and the gravy is in the foyer on the floor. I dropped it. I didn't mean to. There's no gravy? No, there's gravy. It's just on the floor in the foyer. Get it quick before it goes down the air conditioning vent. Oh, because you know what? Thanksgiving, you're not running air conditioning and maybe not even heat. It might be like the perfect time. So if you turn on the air conditioning after like you go out shopping for Black Friday, the gravy will just be blown everywhere. And I've got ceiling units and floor units. The whole house would be full of gravy. Growing up until I'd say just in the past like 10, 15 years or so, we always went to my Aunt Peggy and Uncle John's house for Thanksgiving. Peggy's short for Margaret. Everyone would come in from all over. And there was the Pittsburgh people came down and they had driven through like some crazy snow and everything. Sure. And, you know, they get there and it's nice and warm. It's the perfect day in like southeastern Ohio. You know, there's the leaves are blowing. It's just beautiful. Right. And they left the next day to go back to Pittsburgh and they left all of their coats. Coats. Oh, no. Not good. And you know what? An expensive item. And so Aunt Peggy had to ship all of their winter coats back to them. I suppose. Did they get there before they did? No. Yeah. I had a problem with FedEx this very week. Oh, no. Because, you know, going in, you know, we really should start the show, but I'll keep this brief. Yes, please. I'll keep this very brief. Mm-hmm. Going into Robert's graduation. By the way, my son is now a college graduate. Thank you. Congratulations. Oh. Thank you. Oh, you're horned. I know. I need to get to the shop. I need to get to the shop. Oh, no. You're just going to make me look like an idiot now. Look how stupid I am. The horn. Yeah, you made me look dumb. I don't like that. I live for it. Okay. So I said, I want to give Robert something for graduation that's meaningful. Because for Julia, we went down day of, saw her in the morning, and I gave her my VCU class ring from 30 years earlier. Oh, that's cool. And she was able to wear it over, she had enough Band-Aids and string to make it fit. And so, you know, like girls, when you give them your ring in high school, they have to, like, make it look like it's got a big. A lot of yarn. Yeah, yeah. It looks like a tire that's about to blow. So I gave her the ring, and I said, I don't have a ring for Robert. And further, I don't even have, like, anything WVU. So I'm thinking, and I'm thinking, and I say, oh, you know what? My grandfather, big daddy, knew Robert when Robert was real little. Robert remembers him. And he loved that boy a lot. And when Robert was battling cancer, it was a really big part of his life, keeping up with it. And he just, he was very invested in Robert when Robert was little. So I wanted Robert to walk the stage with his watch, my grandfather's pocket watch. And I was going to let him have it. But I had to send it FedEx. And so I sent it up. It was supposed to, Monday, it was a Sunday graduation. It was supposed to arrive Friday. And I gave myself an extra day because I FedExed it up there, right? No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you not go to his graduation? I did, but I didn't know if I would see him before the graduation because it wasn't set up like that. So I had to get the watch to him in advance. Dang, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I FedEx, it was supposed to get there two days before. And it didn't. And it didn't get there on Saturday. And they don't deliver on Sunday. So the watch is in transit. And I had nothing for him to carry that represented Big Daddy. And besides, even if I did, I wasn't going to see him before graduation. So I was really bummed. And out like 40 bucks for an overnight that turned out to be like I could have mailed it first class. Boo. Boo, FedEx. But the only thing that is good, here's my good part of the bread story. Bring it, please. When we walked into the WVU Coliseum and we were just so set because my mom has handicapped parking. So we didn't have to use shuttles or anything. We parked like 20 feet from the door. It was awesome. And so we walk in and it's close to when it's going to start because we knew we had great parking. And they're lined up in the hall. Wait, wait, wait. I have a question. When you go somewhere and you've got like, you've got Shea Show, you've got Carrie. The preferred parking. Everyone. Everyone. Who do you drive? You drive all the. I always drive. Yeah. Probably the worst driver. I am. I mean, no one else in the family has flipped a car. No one else in the family has practically run over everyone in a golf cart. That's true. No one else in the family did a time without their license because of past missteps. No one else. But I do keep it on the road. Here you are chauffeuring everyone around. Put my kids and my parents in a car. Let's go. Roll the dice. Roll that dice. So we walk into the WVU Coliseum. I believe it's the blue entrance right by the statue of Jerry West. And as we go in, the students are lining up. And who is like directly in front of us. I shot wise is my son. So I got. Oh, that's amazing. And that's huge of a place. Yeah. So I mean, like a thousand graduates, too. Yeah. So I see him and I don't have the watch. Duh, because I mailed it. Not counting on this moment. But I had what I thought was a decent replacement. It was a playing card. The ace of spades that had on the back of it. William Stalkup. That's my grandfather. William Stalkup Furniture Company. Because he had custom decks of cards made back in the day to give to customers. And so he had a. Same color as the pencils. Are you really going to stand here and point out all the bad marketing my grandfather did? No, I think it's fantastic. Fantastic. I love here. The pencil is different than this. Here's a. I don't have a complete set. I don't know. They don't. People don't do stuff like this anymore. This is. It's good. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say I'm not playing with a full deck. But I don't have. I don't have a full set of the cards. I do have like 20. So I gave him the. But they look like this. Isn't that nice? It's got his bad. Oh, it's got the chair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the and the address and everything. William Stalkup Furniture. 442 South Washington Street. Falls Church. 22042. Free delivery among purchase. But don't go there because now it's a burger place. Okay. What kind of burger place? Also, the last time I went, it was split. It was half of l

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