Episode 129

#129. Hi, this is Neil Sedaka...

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

January 1, 2025 · 1 hr 39 min

Listen to this episodeYour place is saved on this device.

0:00 / 1 hr 39 min

Speed Download

YouTube

TranscriptRead Transcript · EN

PodStreet Generated · Provider: Local-mlx-whisper · Model: mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo · Generated At 2026-09-07 18:55:46

Search transcript

Thumbtack presents Uncertainty Strikes.

I was surrounded. The aisle and the options were closing in.

There were paint rollers, satin and matte finish, angle brushes, and natural bristles.

There were too many choices.

What if I never got my living room painted?

What if I couldn't figure out what type of paint to use?

What if I just used Thumbtack?

I can hire a top-rated pro that knows everything about interior paint,

easily compare prices, and read reviews.

Thumbtack knows homes.

Download the app today.

All right, I know it's tempting, but don't do it.

Don't give in.

Don't go to Costco and go and see the big glass jar of peaches.

Whole peaches.

And you think, oh my God, that's the best thing I've ever seen.

And it comes in a big glass jar that you could reuse.

And I said, you know what? I'm getting these peaches.

I should have known better, as the Beatles once sang.

Did you get the peaches?

I got the big jar of peaches.

Don't get the big jar of peaches.

Did you really?

I did.

I mean, it's maybe like a gallon and a half.

Oh, by the way, the candy bag we talked about last week?

Six pounds.

Yeah, oh yeah.

It's six pounds.

It is six pounds.

I guess five, but it's six.

But the big...

Six pounds of candy is an awful lot of candy.

Yeah, but somehow it's going faster than the peaches.

Because the peaches are in a big...

I'd say it's about a gallon.

And you know, when you buy peaches, you say...

I know exactly what you're talking about.

And when you're marketing, you say to the grocer, you say,

Hey, I'd like to have a peach or give me two pounds of peaches.

You don't order peaches by the gallop.

And then you get it home and...

See, I don't mind canned peaches for what they are.

It's like frozen fried chicken.

It's okay, but it's not fried chicken.

But it's very agreeable.

You can't compare it to fried chicken.

Getting them out of the jar is tough.

We're not even there yet.

But yes, you're right.

So...

Like a can of peaches, you can get slices.

You can get halves.

They're nice.

You know what?

My grandmother used to eat them with a little sharp cheese on them.

Very nice.

Are there still pits in the peaches?

Well, not if they're sliced and not if they're halved.

Thumbtack presents Uncertainty Strikes. I was surrounded. The aisle and the options were closing in. There were paint rollers, satin and matte finish, angle brushes, and natural bristles. There were too many choices. What if I never got my living room painted? What if I couldn't figure out what type of paint to use? What if I just used Thumbtack? I can hire a top-rated pro that knows everything about interior paint, easily compare prices, and read reviews. Thumbtack knows homes. Download the app today. All right, I know it's tempting, but don't do it. Don't give in. Don't go to Costco and go and see the big glass jar of peaches. Whole peaches. And you think, oh my God, that's the best thing I've ever seen. And it comes in a big glass jar that you could reuse. And I said, you know what? I'm getting these peaches. I should have known better, as the Beatles once sang. Did you get the peaches? I got the big jar of peaches. Don't get the big jar of peaches. Did you really? I did. I mean, it's maybe like a gallon and a half. Oh, by the way, the candy bag we talked about last week? Six pounds. Yeah, oh yeah. It's six pounds. It is six pounds. I guess five, but it's six. But the big... Six pounds of candy is an awful lot of candy. Yeah, but somehow it's going faster than the peaches. Because the peaches are in a big... I'd say it's about a gallon. And you know, when you buy peaches, you say... I know exactly what you're talking about. And when you're marketing, you say to the grocer, you say, Hey, I'd like to have a peach or give me two pounds of peaches. You don't order peaches by the gallop. And then you get it home and... See, I don't mind canned peaches for what they are. It's like frozen fried chicken. It's okay, but it's not fried chicken. But it's very agreeable. You can't compare it to fried chicken. Getting them out of the jar is tough. We're not even there yet. But yes, you're right. So... Like a can of peaches, you can get slices. You can get halves. They're nice. You know what? My grandmother used to eat them with a little sharp cheese on them. Very nice. Very nice. Are there still pits in the peaches? Well, not if they're sliced and not if they're halved. But if you buy the big jar of peaches, they got the pits. Yeah. Now wait, it gets worse. So they're jarred peaches with pits. Yeah. Yeah. Here's where it gets worse. They're not... Do you have the elf? You have Buddy the Elf on your mug. It's out of season. Yeah, it's one of my two elf mugs. Do you have another elf mug? Yeah, I have another one. It's green and says, what the elf? Oh, I get it. Because it's like saying the F word. Because you don't swear anymore. Oh. You would swear if you bought the peaches. Let me get back to it. So you open the jar. And as you know, since I had my brush with death, I had no core strength. How big is the opening? I'm almost positive I know the jar. I know you do. It's a little oval-ish. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd say maybe the top is six inches round. And it's essentially the same kind of jar of like a large thing of pickled eggs. Yes. It is. You're from the city. You probably don't know much about those two years. Keep in mind, I went to the 7-Eleven near your home and I saw the pickled eggs. And I also told Carrie, I don't think this is a real 7-Eleven. It smelled out. It didn't ring true to me. The pickled eggs was only part of it. So anyway. Once you get to the S-E-V-E-N hyphen, you know you're in the wrong spot. Well, also the question mark. 7-Eleven? I like it. So to get the peaches out of the jar, at first it's damn near impossible because of the drag. There's drag because they've jammed so many peaches into this jar. Well, it sounds like you're getting what you paid for. I mean, that's good. Yeah, that's why you mustn't do it. Because also a peeled whole peach is quite slippery to the touch. So slippery. Like I want to say tongs, but I feel like you didn't eat tongs with forks on it. Think about it. Should have used them. What I went in with was a meat fork. We have the Cutco cutting system. I don't know what it is. I know that we bought it before we were broke because it was very expensive. But I brought out the meat fork and I put it in and I was going to lift the peach. Keep in mind, it's not a giant. James would not be impressed with this because it's not a giant peach. It's just a standard run-of-the-mill peach. Well, I put the fork in and I'm going to lift. There's some drag, but I got it. Now, here's something else to think about. The peaches that have canned or been jarred, I think they've been partially cooked or something. They've been blanched. I'm blanching right now. They've been Devereux. Do you know that there's only one wedding picture from my grandparents' wedding and the only other person in it is a friend of theirs named Blanche Wooten. Years past years ago. But that's what I think of when I think of Blanche. How on earth would you even remember that? Well, there's only one picture of their wedding. And you look at it since you're a kid because there's just one. And you ask, you say, who's that woman there? And they say, that's Blanche Wooten. And she has... I shouldn't go into too much detail, but she might have had a bit of a... I'm sure she's not with us any longer. No, she's not. And I don't think... No, I can't talk about it. I just don't understand why my grandfather... Oh, I want you to so bad. Oh, I want you to so bad. I don't know why my grandparents put up with that behavior. That of a... What? Mistress. But not for my grandparents. She wasn't in on their marriage. Oh, she was... It was another marriage. But she was indeed. I was like... Yeah. Would somebody say an H-dub? What's that? Housewife? Homewrecker. Homewrecker. She didn't wreck anything. I think everyone was happy. Yeah. So it was an agreed-upon situation. Yes. What do they say? An arrangement. Oh! Sometimes, yeah. But she wasn't... Sometimes, yeah. She wasn't so busy H-W-ing that she couldn't make the wedding. Yeah. And get in the picture. Well... Do you think maybe that is sort of a characteristic of the... Of the woman who puts herself out there to be that word I said that starts with an M and ends with an istress? Is that sort of wherewithal? Is that what made her get in the picture? An early photobomb? A pre-Pearl Harbor photobomb? Um... Okay, wait. I'm a little... So she was not the mistress of your grandpa? No, no, no, no. No, no. Nobody in our family. And it's just... But she was the mistress of somebody... Your grandparents... Knew... And her. Knew that... In the picture? No, no, no. It's just the three of them in the picture. They're coming out of the church and Blanche is throwing rice. Oh, I thought even it was like a posed picture with just the three of them. And then I was like, Rob... No, no, this is a candid. You know, Rob, if that was the case, I would feel very certain that I'm... They were part of it. ...talk to you off air. And I'm going to hold your hand gently when I tell you... When I tell you everybody knew and she was in on it too. Yeah, I really didn't paint the picture right. So it was a candid and she's throwing rice. But anyway... Okay, that's entirely different. She mistricized to someone that Big Daddy knew. That's it. And I don't know if the proper wife knew... Well, it sounds like it wasn't exactly a secret. No, especially this is way before social media. So if Blanche had put up, it's complicated, then we would say, well, what's going on? But you just assume. And I will not reveal... But I won't reveal the name of the man. So if you want to... I think that's probably wise. I'm sure he's dead too. ...in many years. Yes. All right. So the peaches have been blanched. Maybe blanched is not a cooking term as much as it is a man who has been cheating on... No, the wife who has been cheated on. That woman was blanched. Now, see, because I know about canning things. So you know what? To blanch a peach is and then the skin just peels right off. Exactly. And that's what you can. Yeah. But I'm still thinking about blanch as a verb for a tawdry lady. You know what happened that they broke up is the wife got blanched. Oh, dear. Anyway, but I'm going on to... I want to get back to the peaches. The peaches. Don't buy the peaches. Because of the blanching, they're not as, say... Structurally sound as a raw peach. And so when I went in with the... You're slippery. The meat... Well, when I went in with the meat fork, I kind of went parallel to the seed and I was going to lift. Okay. But the peach ripped. Oh, no. Too much drag. Too much drag. Yeah. So I said, well, this is no good. Too squizzed in there. So I got a second meat fork. I have three. Don't be jealous. And I went in with two meat forks and phoomp got it on either side. Kind of like I was giving it one of those CPR electric start things. Two leads. Like corn on the cop. Yeah. But I yelled, clear! And I got it out. And I noticed that now that I got one peach out, my peach is dead. Now that my peach is out, I said, this is going to be easier. So I put it in. You can't eat it like an apple. And isn't it funny that when you eat a peach normally, you eat a peach like an apple. Yeah. Isn't that weird? You don't eat a banana like an apple. Well, no. No. Anyway, I got it in the bowl. And I said, all I need right now is a fork or maybe a spoon. And because we are so lazy with emptying the dishwasher, we didn't have any forks because they were in the dishwasher. And we have service for 12. I had meat forks, but that's not what I craved. So I got a spoon. I got a tablespoon. A soup spoon. Oh, there's plenty of forks. They're just not where I need it. Are you in this endeavor by yourself? Of course. No one's going to sit and watch me do this. Well, I didn't know if anyone else is waiting for a peach and it's taking you an hour and a half to find one. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have attempted it if people were around me. Because I always expect the worst. Even before I knew of all the troubles, I wouldn't have tried this. My anxiety could never. I know. Quit looking at me and my peach. So I put it in the bowl. And I went and I took the spoon. I said, you know what? Maybe I can kind of eat it like an apple. And I picked it up on the spoon. So what you have to imagine now is like a soup spoon, normal size, with a decent sized peach on it. And I go to take a bite. And it's full of peachy goodness, to be sure. But they are cling peaches, not freestone peaches. So the flesh is sticking to the seed. And you can't scrape it off. What the heck are you supposed to do with these? I don't know. But when I got it as clean as I could, I was still alone. So I was able to act on my own. I know one thing, a thousand percent, I'm certain. What? I would have died if I heard any of this. Yeah, you would have. There was a lot of slurpage. There was a lot of noise. But wait, here's the best part. Is I said, I paid a pretty penny for these peaches. Hey, that was a good advertisement for this pop filter, wasn't it? This is really good. Listen, pal. I paid a pretty penny for these peaches. So let's talk about the pit. So I pick it up and I eat it as best I can with the spoon. But I say I left about 20 to 25 percent of the peach attached to the pit. And the pit is full of like dents and things like a brain. It sticks great. So I did something and I thought of this. I said, if Katie was here, she'd kill me. I put the peach pit in my mouth. Oh. And tried. Oh. Tried to get all the stuff off it. It was a miserable failure. It was a miserable failure. Peach number two. I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room? No, you're fine. There are no peaches down there. It's not like Georgia is a state that's all about peaches. A white noise machine and a fan? Yeah. It doesn't matter. There'll still be peaches. So I said, this can't be right. Oh, I just. What? Nothing. I got a second peach. Got it out with two forks. Was it easier once you got one? Yeah.

You Might Also Like

#130. The Greatest Show on Earth?

#27. Twitter DID NOT Buy Instagram

#30. Pipe Down