Episode 120

#120. She Carved Her Name and I Carved Mine.

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

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Sheets?

What about Costco?

They don't have straws.

Well, I guess they do.

But you know what?

They're unwrapped.

Oh, in public?

Well, it's got the dispenser.

You hit the thing down and it bloom.

Still, somebody else has touched that dispenser before you did.

It's no worse than the onion crank.

I'm sorry.

What?

An onion crank?

We've talked about this on the O'Mara Show before.

It is a crank that dispenses onions as you crank it.

Like a whole-ass onion?

Now, even you know that's not true.

No, I don't.

My electric bill keeps creeping up every month this summer. You know what, Mike? We hear that from Florida homeowners all the time. Renewal by Anderson's energy-efficient replacement windows can help reduce heat transfer, improving comfort and lowering energy costs. Nice. And you've got some end-of-the-summer savings happening? That's right. This month only, buy four windows or doors and get the fifth free, plus 12-month special financing. Just go to bestwindowsflorida.com to schedule your free in-home design consultation to claim these savings. Restrictions apply. License number CGC 1527613. Whether you're building a career or expanding your skills, the Florida Army National Guard offers a flexible part-time commitment that propels you forward. Serve alongside dedicated professionals in over 130 specialized career fields. Gain job security, earn a fully paid college education, and develop skills employers value. It's a chance to strengthen your resume while strengthening your community. Connect with a local Army National Guard recruiter or visit nationalguard.com slash FL to explore career paths. Car insurance is way too expensive. That's why Hugo lets you break up your insurance bill so you can pay for it a little bit at a time. Start small. Buy just seven days of coverage. Then pay daily or weekly to stay insured. Cancel any time without talking to anyone. Hugo is car insurance that fits your life and keeps more money in your pocket. See why thousands of drivers rate Hugo 4.8 out of 5 stars. Give it a try and cancel any time. No termination fees. With Hugo.com. Back to school is busy enough. The last thing you need is shopping that makes it harder. Whether you're moving into a dorm, your first apartment, or just getting organized for the semester, Wayfair makes it easy to get everything you need in one place. Furniture, bedding, storage, decor, study essentials, all at prices you'll love. With fast shipping before move-in day. Get everything you need for back-to-school season. Shop Wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. Sheets? What about Costco? They don't have straws. Well, I guess they do. But you know what? They're unwrapped. Oh, in public? Well, it's got the dispenser. You hit the thing down and it bloom. Still, somebody else has touched that dispenser before you did. It's no worse than the onion crank. I'm sorry. What? An onion crank? We've talked about this on the O'Mara Show before. It is a crank that dispenses onions as you crank it. Like a whole-ass onion? Now, even you know that's not true. No, I don't. It's chopped onions, you know, for your hot dog. Get a hot dog and a Pepsi for $1.50. And by the way, it's going back to Coca-Cola products this summer. Yes. Thank you. I still don't understand what an onion crank is. Is it like a chopper? No, no, no. It's like my whack-a-mole chopper where I chop all my vegetables. You're veg-o-matic? No, it's like a... Let's see if this works better. Okay. Again with that huge mug. You don't have to refill it. Well, eventually you do, but... Okay, that did run into my mic. Let's say you buy a hot dog, and I don't know how you feel about them. I enjoy a hot dog, but it's probably been like five years, ten years since I had one. Well, you need to get one. And I don't know if your Costco has the crank, but you get the hot dog, and it's wrapped in foil, right? I don't have a Costco membership. It's far away. Why would I? Let's pretend... I go to the club, and I bring home a hot chick every time. Is that a sandwich? I go to Sam's Club, and I get a rotisserie chicken. I know, and I'm wondering if the hot chick is... No, it's a rotisserie chicken. All right, but let's pretend... Let's pretend you've stepped it up, and you've joined a cost company, okay? Okay. And you finish buying all the things you buy, like huge mugs, and then you get a hot dog and a Coke or a Pepsi for $1.50. Right. But you don't want the plain hot dog, so you go over to what, for lack of a better word, the Fixin's Bar. Okay. And they've got a pump for ketchup and a pump for mustard, and I believe a pump for relish. But if you want chopped onions, there's an inverted triangular metal box that is filled with chopped onions, and to get the onions out, you have to turn a crank, and the onions come out onto your hot dog. It's the onion crank. It sounds almost like a cereal dispenser. Yes, but it doesn't put out cereal, it puts onions. And if you go up to it thinking you're going to get, like, I don't know, Raisin Bran, you're going to be very disappointed. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. All it has is onions. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. You have a thought ready, right? I do. Okay, but before we get to that, I'm going to surprise you. Well, we haven't started the show. Well, we're recording, but we haven't started the show. I wanted to take a moment to tell you congratulations. Yes? As today is the 11th anniversary of the first episode of Cake and Cookies. I knew this! Isn't that crazy? It's wild, and I do remember one of the topics on the first episode was you telling me I should be a mascot for my son's basketball team because I would like wearing a costume. I mean, now that I know different things, especially regarding furries, I feel like I could retract that statement depending on what kind of mascot. And also, you know, 11 years later, Julia's dating a guy who was a mascot. Like, a mascot or a furry? Not a furry! He's... Come on, boys and girls! You know what? To each his own, like, whatever floats your boat. I'm not going to fur shame anybody, but... I'm not! I'm not! I just was wondering about specifics. For all you boys and girls, come out and cheer your Richmond squirrels. He was... He was not! Yes, that was his job when they met! Hadn't we ever discussed this? I don't know! But anyway, he doesn't do that anymore. But he was. He was the mascot. And he, you know, there's a... What's his name? The Flying Squirrel... Nutsy! Right. Nutsy the Flying Squirrel. Nutsy! Nutsy! Yeah. And, uh... I have salt and pepper shakers of Nutsy and his wife. I think it's Natasha. She's a girl. Wait. You know why this makes total sense? Why? Because when we talked about the mascot, I also told you about how... I got taken out by Lucille, the mascot for the San Francisco Giants at Giant Stadium. Who is Lucille? Is she a giant? It's a... It's a seal. Oh. Lucille. Lucille. Okay. And, you know, they're on the bay in San Francisco. Sure. But Dan and I were going to go get some garlic fries, as one does at... Sure. Yeah. They... Oh, my God. The concessions at the San Francisco... Oh! Whole other level. So, anyways... Sorry. My fat girl came out there for a second. You couldn't be fat if you tried. Oh, I could. Happen. So, wait, wait, wait. So, we're heading over to... You're at San Francisco Giants. Yeah. I'm sure it has a corporate sponsorship. The baseball team, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Not... Well, the Giants play in New York if they're football. I was trying to dumb it down for you, Rob. I don't know what you know sometimes. I know a lot. Okay. I know you do. I know you do, baby. It's okay. I know. Don't get garlic fries. I know that. Unless you're ready to face the seal. So, we're heading towards the concessions area, and a door opens, and out pops Lucille and knocks me to the ground with her flipper. Wow. Lawsuit. Absolutely a lawsuit. I mean, so, I don't know if Lucille's supposed to be... Aggressive? Gendered, right? Aggressive. But Lucille just took me right out, and then bent over, and said, I'm not supposed to talk, but are you okay? I was like... I couldn't stop laughing because it was... Like, talking through the seal face to you? Yeah, yeah, like right beside my head. Then, like, just sort of picked me up and plopped me, like, right back on my feet, like... I know what I would have done. Right before a lawsuit, I would have stood up and screamed, talk and seal! That seal can talk! But you were okay, and you got to hear the seal talk. You're almost like an Indiana Jones thing. You got all the secrets. I got all the secrets. And I'm glad on this 11th anniversary you brought it up. I did not know that story. How were the garlic fries? Oh, divine. Great. Who won the game? We did. We being... Oh, the Giants. We were there to... That's Dan's team, so... Yeah, but did he ever live in San Francisco? I mean, he was born there. Oh, did he leave his heart there? No, his heart is with me. I understand. Are you ready to start the show? Yes. Okay, here you go. Ready? In three, two... And welcome, everybody. Thank you for 11 magnificent years of support. If this show was a little child, it would be in sixth grade. And that's wild. Hey there, this is Katie with a little nugget of inspiration to carry you through this week. As a person who's painfully polite and often too friendly in public situations, it occurred to me I'm pretty much putting off the aura of drunk college girls in a bathroom. Let me explain. Please. When girls get tipsy and convene in a bathroom, it's often a magical thing. You met a cutie and need a breath mint? Might not have one, but here, chew on this sprig of mint from my mojito. We turn into MacGyvers when one of our own is in need of a helping hand. Spilled on your shirt and now it's see-through? Take my scarf and here's my number. I guarantee it would be returned to me clean with a note and probably a Starbucks gift card. So now, I charge you to make a little magic and spread a little joy, even when the world is on fire. Especially when the world is on fire. Let's start the show. I like that. That's very, very nice of you to say that. Well, thank you. Michael Mera, Radio Entertainment. Cake and Cookies. Rob and Katie. It's the Rob and Katie Show. Sometimes you don't play the music and sometimes you do. That's how the show works. Sometimes you play different musics at the same time. Sometimes I do that and it's called a mash-up. Kids love it. Who knew? No, I know. So now that we just started the show, how many minutes in are we? Well, you've got a clock too. Look at the upper corner of the screen. I see it. Nine minutes and 22 seconds. Well, now they'll know if we made an edit. That's sickening. Or will they know to listen to the end? I am a, you know, an old man who hates change. And I was approached by someone when we were interviewing a rapper on a show at Podville Media. And they said, he does mash-ups. Now, Rob, a mash-up is... And I said, hold it. Hold it. I may be 53. But I know what a mash-up is. Yeah. So, in any case, I'm not as old as you think. Just a bad board up. So, welcome to Cake and Cookies number 120. Huzzah! This is not going to be on video, but we're going to be on video next week. Okay. So, that's it. For people that are craving the video experience of Cake and Cookies, I admit, as I'm a foot dragger on it, because it is that I don't like change. And I've always thought of this as an audio program. But, if we have a Facebook following, and even, as Josh told us, our own YouTube channel, well, that's something. I mean, I just, personally, I don't want to have to think about how I look. And I know that there are some really mean people out there waiting for the worst moment possible to screen grab you. All podcasts are followed by hateful people. We're a medium. Isn't that... It's a medium for hateful people. But I think of all podcasts, we have nice people. I think we have nice people. We do. You know what? We do. Oh, oh, I wanted to shout out to Linda Herr. I know she was feeling a little under the weather. Yes. So, hopefully, by the time she hears this, she's already on the pep and up. I love her. She is great. What? The up and up? She's pepped up. She's on the up and up. Thank you. She's on the road to recovery. She's off the bench. She's 10 feet tall. She has not. She has untaken to the bed. What? I have to stop. She has not gone to hospital, as they say in Great Britain, which really bothers me. I don't like that. But then I'm anti-Bri

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