Episode 35

#35. Accelerant

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

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PodStreet Generated · Provider: Local-mlx-whisper · Model: mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo · Generated At 2026-09-08 13:14:30

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Midas.

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Dan and I haven't gone anywhere except for a couple of weddings and a few funerals since

we got married.

Okay.

So you're looking forward to the trip.

We were.

I'm glad I was able to decode that.

Mm-hmm.

Because a lot of people, it might have been a death threat.

All we do is go to funerals.

I see you every week.

You can understand.

I know.

I only go for the drinks.

All right.

Are you quite ready?

I suppose.

Mike O'Mara.

Radio Entertainment.

Hey there.

This is Katie with a very hateful thought of the day.

I hate fruitcakes that explode in your purse.

All right.

Take it easy.

What?

I gave you a fruitcake.

Yeah.

You put it in your purse.

Yeah.

And it leaked.

It exploded.

It did not explode.

It blew up.

It did not blow up.

Back to school is busy enough. The last thing you need is shopping that makes it harder. Whether you're moving into a dorm, your first apartment, or just getting organized for the semester, Wayfair makes it easy to get everything you need in one place. Furniture, bedding, storage, decor, study essentials, all at prices you'll love with fast shipping before move-in day. Get everything you need for back to school season. Shop Wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. So I've got this right. Flat repairs or replacement if needed. Rotations and rebalancing every 5,000 miles. All included with the tire purchase. With paid installation and tax? That's the... Don't make me say it. I was gonna say it. You don't say it. You back it up. That's the limited lifetime tire guarantee. Free with every tire purchase. So they're the... The best around. Nothing's gonna ever keep you down. We're up to this. Midas. The best around. Dan and I haven't gone anywhere except for a couple of weddings and a few funerals since we got married. Okay. So you're looking forward to the trip. We were. I'm glad I was able to decode that. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of people, it might have been a death threat. All we do is go to funerals. I see you every week. You can understand. I know. I only go for the drinks. All right. Are you quite ready? I suppose. Mike O'Mara. Radio Entertainment. Hey there. This is Katie with a very hateful thought of the day. I hate fruitcakes that explode in your purse. All right. Take it easy. What? I gave you a fruitcake. Yeah. You put it in your purse. Yeah. And it leaked. It exploded. It did not explode. It blew up. It did not blow up. That indicates that there's some sort of propellant. There's no accelerant in my fruitcake. There might be some sort of- Hold it. Does Crown Royal count? Yeah. Stop the music. Does it count as an accelerant though? I don't know an accelerant, but maybe a propellant. It's not- No, I- Because there's- Combustive? There is a combustive quality to that. That alcohol- It was enclosed. I don't think it's already baked out. Now I do flambe. Mm-hmm. Hi. Hello. We have to cut the podcast short. Hello. I'm going to see Mockingjay. Are you? No. Oh, okay. No, I just like saying it. I thought you were. Mockingjay. Ladies and gentlemen, that was by far the most current reference we've ever made on this podcast. Don't worry. I'll get back to Al Jolson shortly, but until then- I can make a more current reference. Go. Julia just texted you that you have to record the voice. Oh, because the kid from Sterling's on tonight. Right. I wonder if he'll sing a song from Mockingjay. He might. Anyway, there is Grand Marnier in the glaze. You just hacked my hateful thought. I did. I jumped right in. All right. Well, fine. Because it's not an exploding fruitcake. Okay. Well, fine. That would be something you would buy at like- Tell me what's in the fruitcake and I will decide if it is an exploding fruitcake. Like if we were to go to- What's in the fruitcake? What's the name of the place where you used to buy like black lights and stuff? It would be at the mall. I can't think of the name of it. Oh, Spencer's? Spencer's Gifts. Go to Spencer's Gifts for a novelty exploding fruitcake. My fruitcake. And I have the recipe in front of me. I'm sure you do. And you know, you actually fit into the fruitcake lore a little bit. You do. Okay. And I'll explain to you why. But you know what? I've got to do so much reading here and I'm getting so old. I need to turn a light on. Excuse me, won't you? Do you need some cheaters? No, I don't. Not yet. Hold it. I really think you need cheaters. No, I know I do. I probably do. We've discussed this multiple times. Mike claims if you have enough light, you don't need glasses. But I don't know if that's going to involve me moving to the sun. I'm not entirely certain that that is logic. And I don't know that him moving to Florida has helped. Yeah, that might be some older people logic there. The next thing you know, he's like, just a little bit closer to the equator and I should be fine. And I'm 25. No more glasses. All right. This is the recipe for my fruitcake, which does not have an accelerant or a propellant in it. A mile wide was actually found in an old book written on loose leaf paper by my Aunt Bet. And the recipe to the best of our- B-E-T-T-E? No, B-E-T, short for Elizabeth. Betty. Oh, I love that. Aunt Bet. And I think it dates back to the 50s. And after some Googling, I found out this is actually the Wesson dark fruitcake recipe. And what happened in days of old, food companies- Their fruitcake is a very dark, heavy fruitcake. Days of old, companies would make recipes that would call for their ingredients. It didn't explode. It doesn't explode. They would call, they would make out recipes and they'd hand them out in magazines and places like that. Because if you wanted to make a fruitcake, then you need to buy this Wesson oil. Good housekeeping. Yes? Yeah, all of them. Of course. Of course. So my mom and I said, you know what? On the back of the wrappers of different ingredients. Exactly. And that's why it always specifies Wesson oil. Of course. Because they want you to buy the Wesson oil. Well, my mom and I found this recipe. And you know how loose leaf paper, if you were to find a piece of paper from- It turns yellow. High school, and it gets almost soft. Yeah. This stuff, this piece was almost dissolved. Was it written in ink? Yes. Oh, thank God. But I think probably a 50-year-old piece of paper. Mm-hmm. And we had to decode it and figure it out. And some of the stuff was unclear. Did you ever laminate it or anything? I put it in a page protector and I still have it. That's good. But I typed out what we found out. Now, the first year we did it, we figured out two things. First of all, it's not as easy as you think to make a fruit cake. Because- There's a lot to it. You have to essentially have two batches of ingredients. One is the batter. You have a wet batch and a dry batch. Exactly. And the fruit has to be coated in flour so that it doesn't get total- So it incorporates well with the batter. Okay. But all of this stuff was really not very well explained on the piece of loose leaf paper. So we had to figure it out. She wrote it for herself. Exactly. Yeah. So we got it worked out and we made one fruit cake that year. Mm-hmm. Just one or one batch? No, one fruit cake. It was in a bundt pan. Okay. It weighed 60 pounds. The cost of ingredients, about $600. And I couldn't figure out a way to get the booze into the fruit cake. And we- No, you know what? My Aunt Jane often refers to the $25 loaf of bread that I made. Yeah. Exactly. If you're going to go into- The first time you make anything. It's expensive. It is. It's very, very expensive. You know what? I take it back. I think there might actually have been two fruit cakes from this batch. So double all costs. Okay. One of them we cut into and we looked at each other. $120 fruit cake. We looked at each other and we tasted it and we said, you know what? There was a time in the making of this that all of these ingredients tasted good together. Mm-hmm. That is behind us. Oh, no. This was not very good. And it was expensive. Who is we? Is it you and Carrie? No, me and my mom. This has always been a me and my mom project. Okay. And we said, well, we've got this one. Let's see what we can do with it. But we're left with another 400 pound cake. You mean $400 cake? And 400 pounds. Well, for the British. Many of the ingredients. Pip, pip, it was 400 pounds. Most of the ingredients we bought in Lincolnshire. So we didn't know what to do with it. That's what we've forgotten. The lingonberries. This is where you figure into it. We really had no way to. This is really not great. We didn't have anyone that wanted it. And you and your roommate at the time, Lisa, were having a party at your apartment in Fairfax. No. So Carrie and I brought the fruitcake. That's what we brought. And we left it behind. It's probably still there. I don't know if you or Lisa still have the apartment. But I'm sure the fruitcake's there. Let me put it this way. I'm not sure that Lisa or I remember that you came to our party. Yeah. That's about how I remember it. That was when we had the pink Christmas tree that Julie Fulman gave us. I remember about that party. I remember it being very dim. The lighting was very dim. Yeah. And that everyone had a real good head start on us when we got there. Sorry. That's all right. So you know what? It enabled me to get rid of the fruitcake. Man, we had such a good time living together. So the next year. We did. We tried the fruitcakes again. Let me actually take that back. Let me actually take it back. We do. We both remembered that you came. We were both so shocked that like real adult came to our party. Well, Carrie's an adult. You can't possibly think I'm an adult. We were shocked that like anyone other than like interns showed up to our party. Well, I know that that probably felt really good. But keep in mind, we were just getting rid of the fruitcake. It was like a trip to the recycling center for us. I get it now. We had a good time, though. We didn't like just drop it and go. We hung out. We drank. It was Christmas. Well, you couldn't just drop it and go. You had to like probably there was like a chairlift involved. Well, yeah, we had to use wedges and pulleys. What's it called? Block and tackle? No. What's it called? A jack. No, not a jack. It's a jerk. It has wheels and a thing on the bottom and a dolly. You had to use a dolly to get it in. Yeah. That took so long. I think you're talking about Salvador dolly. The whole thing was surreal. It was very surreal. So we were able to get rid of the fruitcake. We had a lovely time at the party. Next year, I believe. Pink Christmas tree, courtesy of Julie Fulman. That would be year 2003 that that happened. Yes or no? Yes. Most fun person in the world. Yeah. The funnest person in the world. Julie Fulman. The best salesperson I've ever met. Oh my God. And still working, I believe, for the CBS family in Miami, Florida. Yeah, she's in Florida. Yeah. I almost went to dinner with her when I went to Disney and we weren't able to work it out. Oh. But I love her. And if she ever hears this, which she won't, Julie, you're the greatest. So that was 2003. Over the next four years, we had four more failed attempts at making fruitcake. Rob, we've known each other a long time. Told you. I've told you this. This isn't the explanation of the show. I know. So what happened in 2007, now keep in mind, every year. You really dropped off the first failed fruitcake. I did. I thought it was a great gesture. At my Christmas party. You know what? The fact that this was 11 years ago and now you're just finding out, I really don't think you're allowed to hold a grudge. I don't hold a grudge. Unless that's what really messed up my job. It was. No, no, no, no, no. And you know what? That was, I guarantee you, the most valuable thing money-wise anyone brought to that party. Oh, yeah. Because it was about $70 in ingredients. I'm sure. So 2004, 5, 6, and 7, we continue to try to make fruitcakes. And every year, they get a little bit better, but they're still tough. So when are they going to be okay? 2007 was a huge, huge turning point. What happened in 2007? 2007. I figured out what we had to do. We didn't want to pour the liquor into the fruitcake after. We had to figure out a way for the liquor to be in the fruitcake before. So the liquor shouldn't go in. Can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess? The liquor should come out. Yes. Did you start soaking the fruit? Am I right? You are absolutely right. Yeah! Absolutely right. Absolutely. And what we did, it's the raisins. Oh, I get it. The raisins. Oh, I get it. So let me go through, I'll walk through the recipe real quick. But that's the key point. Yes? What time does Dan need to take Robert to basketball practice? In

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