Episode 87

#87. Vampira

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

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PodStreet Generated · Provider: Local-mlx-whisper · Model: mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo · Generated At 2026-09-08 06:04:32

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License number CGC 1527613.

Don't you laugh at me.

It's hard enough being the weak link without you laughing.

And if you're going to laugh, at least do it on mic.

I can only get so close because the dog...

Then you're behind it.

I understand.

It's simple physics.

I sent you a picture.

They are really under my feet.

So I am folded up like a pretzel.

Get it?

Not the dog pretzel.

I'm folded up in my chair because I can't put my feet down.

I know.

The dogs are hiding because...

And I can't scoot in all the way.

The thunder.

There's horrible thunderstorms in Savannah.

You should have gone to Atlanta.

Savannah would be...

It would have been better for me.

It would have been better for you.

And also, we're all off kilter because we don't normally record today.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday is a real good news day.

Hey, look out.

Here comes Jimmy Dodd.

He's a dick.

Today is Tuesday.

You know what that means.

Why?

We're going to have a special guest.

Not going to have a guest today.

So get out the broom.

Sweep the place clean.

And dust off the mat so the welcome can be seen.

Back to school is busy enough. The last thing you need is shopping that makes it harder. Whether you're moving into a dorm, your first apartment, or just getting organized for the semester, Wayfair makes it easy to get everything you need in one place. Furniture, bedding, storage, decor, study essentials, all at prices you'll love with fast shipping before move-in day. Get everything you need for back-to-school season. Shop Wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. My electric bill keeps creeping up every month this summer. You know what, Mike? We hear that from Florida homeowners all the time. Renewal by Anderson's energy-efficient replacement windows can help reduce heat transfer, improving comfort and lowering energy costs. Nice. And you've got some end-of-the-summer savings happening? That's right. This month only, buy four windows or doors and get the fifth free, plus 12-month special financing. Just go to bestwindowsflorida.com to schedule your free in-home design consultation to claim these savings. Restrictions apply. License number CGC 1527613. Don't you laugh at me. It's hard enough being the weak link without you laughing. And if you're going to laugh, at least do it on mic. I can only get so close because the dog... Then you're behind it. I understand. It's simple physics. I sent you a picture. They are really under my feet. So I am folded up like a pretzel. Get it? Not the dog pretzel. I'm folded up in my chair because I can't put my feet down. I know. The dogs are hiding because... And I can't scoot in all the way. The thunder. There's horrible thunderstorms in Savannah. You should have gone to Atlanta. Savannah would be... It would have been better for me. It would have been better for you. And also, we're all off kilter because we don't normally record today. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday is a real good news day. Hey, look out. Here comes Jimmy Dodd. He's a dick. Today is Tuesday. You know what that means. Why? We're going to have a special guest. Not going to have a guest today. So get out the broom. Sweep the place clean. And dust off the mat so the welcome can be seen. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Roll out the carpet. Strike up the bang. Got no bang. And give out with a hip. Hooray. Hip. Hooray. Wiggle your ears like good mousketeers. We're going to present a guest today. Why? Because Tuesday is guest star day. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday is guest star day. Did you book anybody? Any guest stars? No. Like Fran Drescher? No. No one from the cast of The Nanny will be here today? Not this time. Then why are we even doing a show? It seems so shallow. I quit. Good night, everybody. So, thunder and rain. What you drinking there, Rob? Bex, it tastes so good. Did you know that I actually sent a note to young Mr. Zoolander, Eric Stolginski, who came over to my house to- Stolginski. How much? Go on. How do you say his name? I think it's Stolginski. No, it's Stolginski. Really? Because he calls himself Stolgs. Stolginski. But anyway, he came over to my home to drink and he brought lots of good things, but he brought, what is it? It was a Mexican beer. Something especial. Modelo. Modelo especial. Especial. And I'd never really, really had it, and so I was drinking it, and I realized- Oh, I love Modelo especial. I realized it had a similar flavor palette in many ways to my favorite German beer. So, last night I bought another six-pack and I gave it a new name. I'm calling it Bexican. You know, as soon as I said Modelo especial, I realized there are two people in this world who probably shouldn't be saying that, and it's me and Eric. I thought you were making fun of him. I thought you were doing my job. No! I have a- I do. I am sibilant, and a word like especial is not helpful. Can I play one song for your dogs before we start the show? And I realize this is all pre-show. Sure. This is not the show. But here, let me jingle in. Here's a song for your two dogs who are pretty close to you right now. We used to work there. The dogs are not under your thumb. No, but they'd be inside me if they could. They are under her desk. Two dogs strong and Katie feeling the pressure. Under my thumb. The girl who was... I had an idea for a show picture, but I will probably post the picture of your dogs. Dogs really, they almost look like the karate yin and yang symbol. They are so intertwined under your desk. Now, do you use a Thunder Buddy shirt? What are they called? The Thunder shirts on the dogs? You just put them on pills, right? They're Thunder Buddies to each other. Oh, okay. You know what? I'm confusing the merchandise with the thing from the Teddy Bear movie. You're thinking of the, f*** you, Thunder. That's a good song. Yes, you're confusing a couple of things. Yes, Bless. It's from that movie Ted about the Teddy Bear, Bless. Well, here's the thing. What are they called? They're Thunder shirts. They don't have an actual Thunder shirt, but they do have little t-shirts that do kind of just give them that sort of... And they're Washington Nationals t-shirts. Okay. I used to fool Robert. Because they're locally, locally. When Robert was on all of his medications when he was going through chemo, he'd get vicious leg cramps. And there was, I mean, no amount of potassium or hydration could really prevent them. So one of the only good things I ever brought to the marriage, Carrie will tell you this, is I was able to talk him through his leg cramps. And I did it with all hocus pocus, smoke and mirrors, and misdirection. And I had a sock, just simply a clean, white sock that I would say, now this sock has been given properties to help you through your leg pain. And I would go through a very slow, laborious process of a very precise wrap around his leg. Not that kind of wrap. Rob Spiewak is not the beatboxer he would like to be. No, but I am one of the fat boys by definition. So by the time I got through this, Disorderly's braided PG! By the time I went through this process, I remember that commercial. I did not expect that. By the time I got through the process, the leg cramp was gone, but he always thought it was the sock. And as we went through this, and then sometimes an ace bandage was involved, same process, had no properties. And then I recently found the sock in a drawer with a face and a mouth drawn on it. It was his leg cramp sock. I think how we eventually got to, I mean, he'd wake up crying because he's in horrible pain. And so I think what we eventually got is that I would wrap it in the ace bandage and then put the sock over it. But the process was making it take as long as possible. Right. Yeah. Anyway. So they do have two little t-shirts that, as of last week, I can't find them. You know who took them? The Thunder Gods. Chanel. Oh, yes. Always watch out for Chanel. I bet. She was like, Oh, I love that Judd so much. I'm going to take a shake. She takes her shoes. I love him. I love him so bad. I want his clothes. I want his collar. They currently have a little dog bed that has been scooted, snooted under my desk. And then Presley, there's a love seat in my office. Yeah, there is. She has dragged the pillows, because the floor is too good for this girl. Right. She has dragged the pillows off of the sofa and dragged them under my desk so they're beside the dog bed that Judd has on there. Hold it. They've actually made like a fort under your desk. Yeah. They're too smart. They're eventually going to start like, do they know your passwords? No. Because they could take over. You're going to start getting like huge deliveries from PetSmart. They're watching my paw strokes. Can you see? Putting the little dog foot pad on your iPhone. And I know Presley's the one who's probably like, Judd, we got to use your do-claws, okay? So here's the thing. I don't think it's going to recognize. We know our moms. Okay, we know our moms, and we know that there's probably a very good chance that her passwords are some version of our names. We can crack this code in three chances. Just wait until they go to the bar. What I did is I took a print of mom's thumb and put it on your do-claw. All you got to do is touch the phone. Oh, here's a weird thing about codes. You know, I'm very close with my mother. Not creepy. Not like psycho. We really have no idea where you're going to go with this now. But no, but we were at a used record store the other day. Oh, fun. And she said she would buy me a couple records because I didn't have any cash. And I mean, it was like a stack of 45s, and it came to like eight bucks. Because, you know, they're like 50 cents, 30 cents, all this stuff. And so she says, I'll just put it on my card. Did you feel at any point during, like you were like 14 again? Yeah, all the time. I feel like I'm 14 until I try to like move and my joints crack. I realize, God, you know what? I've been, as the kids say, Dad, I'm tired. I say, have fun with that. I've been tired since 1982. And then you realize you're not 14. No, I'm not 14. You have to buy Bex. So it's so much better. And so my mom hands me her card, and she goes to swipe and she said, you need to put in your code. And my mom tells me her code. Do you realize totally independent of each other, my mom and I have the same code for our ATM card? Do you know that totally independent of, well, certainly each other now. Yeah. My Aunt Ronnie. Right. Yeah. Right. In the little tiny mini urn. Yeah. Mini urn is what I call what I make on the podcast. She and I had the same password for everything. It is so weird, but we never, ever had discussed it. Does it mean something though? It means that we have a similar, I guess, mind thing going on. Well, I mean, ours spelled out the same thing. Ours are. It's a four digit number. Yeah. But ours were the last. But it spells out something. I don't want. I don't know how much I want to reveal. That's all I'll say is it spells something. Okay. Well, something has more than four letters. Does it just spell some? It spells thin. Oh. Hang. Okay. Real fast. Yeah. Can I answer a question that was asked a couple of weeks ago? Yeah. And then we can start the show? Well, yeah, but I've got to finish our story, but go ahead. Yeah. We're getting very close to the start of the show. To bring up Aunt Ronnie. Yes. Someone asked where she was located within the new home. Oh, that's true because she was on the kitchen windowsill in Reston, right? Yeah. So she could see out. Or in, depending on how you turned it. It was a nice view. Okay. Either way you'd look. So now she is on the bookshelf behind me. Okay. Because I feel that our front window has the prettiest view. Well, I think that's very nice. Plus she's with me. And she's on the show. She's a regular. Oh, every show. She's right there. Like your mom when she looks in. That's weird. She's right there behind me. Okay. Yeah. You're talking about the ashes of a late relative and it's weird when your mom looks in. I think there's a lot of weird going on. Wow. Okay. But bless. Why is? So you were, your mother was saying. She said, this is my code. And what it is, is the last four digits of a phone number that's very common to both of us. But it no longer exists. I don't know if I've said too much, but that's what it is. And so I said, that's mine too. And she said. Oh no, I've said too much. Haven't said enough. Haven't said enough. And I said, well, that's weird that we have the same code. And she said, should we change? I'll be in the corner. No, that's me in the corner. You can hold the four T fives. She said, should we change it? Lose in my collection. And I said, no, I think we're okay saving it. But I think it's weird that we have the same pin number. And then Vampyra, the goth lady behind the desk at the used record store, says, hello. She says, don't you trust your mother with your pin number? I said, you don't know my mother. She said, and then that fell like in a really bad way. Like, is something weird going on here? But no, I said, just chill, Vampyra. Eve

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