Episode 5

#5. The Worst Christmas Ever

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

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Mike O'Meara, Radio Entertainment.

Hey there, this is Katie with a very hateful thought of the day.

I hate people who don't hold open doors for others.

I don't care if you're a man or a woman.

If you are able-bodied enough to reach out and pull open a door for yourself,

then have some common courtesy and don't let it slam on the person behind you.

Get yourself together.

You don't need to be a doorman.

Simply have some decency, a little respect for other human beings.

Try a little tenderness, if you will, in this cold-ass world.

Open your eyes and notice the other poor schmucks around you.

Even a little bump with your butt or a nudge with your hip

to stop the door from slamming on somebody else is fine.

Just hold the damn door.

I hate people who don't hold open doors.

And you.

I hate you, too.

Hi, I'm at a doctor's office.

Ooh, I'm such a liar.

Welcome, everybody, to episode 5 of Cake and Cookies,

the Rob and Katie Show, a weekly podcast to show by way of comparison

that your life really isn't all that bad.

I'm Rob Spilak.

I'm Katie Powers.

And in my defense, I have not told, I got a phone call that I didn't want to take.

Right.

Didn't realize who it was going to be.

Right.

And I was like, yeah, I'm at a doctor's office.

Can I call you back?

Right.

I didn't give some sort of sweeping, oh.

I actually.

You didn't come up to me and say, do you have a blood pressure monitor that I can turn on?

Yeah, can you snap a rubber glove in the background while I'm making this phone call?

What does a stethoscope say?

But let me do just say, I have co-workers that listen to this show.

Mm-hmm.

I would never say that I have a doctor's appointment to come record a show.

No.

Simply for the fact that at this point, I have so many doctor's appointments, it seems ridiculous

the way that it is.

Defensive much?

I just threw out one.

I am.

It's just a throwaway.

But I do have a lot of doctor's appointments.

How's your health, Rob?

What was great is when you said, I'm at a doctor's office, and I just looked at Dan and I said,

no, she's not.

I know.

You guys were being so loud in the background.

We were doctors.

Yes.

I kept saying things like a-

Damn noisy doctors.

Coronary.

Dermatitis.

Mike O'Meara, Radio Entertainment. Hey there, this is Katie with a very hateful thought of the day. I hate people who don't hold open doors for others. I don't care if you're a man or a woman. If you are able-bodied enough to reach out and pull open a door for yourself, then have some common courtesy and don't let it slam on the person behind you. Get yourself together. You don't need to be a doorman. Simply have some decency, a little respect for other human beings. Try a little tenderness, if you will, in this cold-ass world. Open your eyes and notice the other poor schmucks around you. Even a little bump with your butt or a nudge with your hip to stop the door from slamming on somebody else is fine. Just hold the damn door. I hate people who don't hold open doors. And you. I hate you, too. Hi, I'm at a doctor's office. Ooh, I'm such a liar. Welcome, everybody, to episode 5 of Cake and Cookies, the Rob and Katie Show, a weekly podcast to show by way of comparison that your life really isn't all that bad. I'm Rob Spilak. I'm Katie Powers. And in my defense, I have not told, I got a phone call that I didn't want to take. Right. Didn't realize who it was going to be. Right. And I was like, yeah, I'm at a doctor's office. Can I call you back? Right. I didn't give some sort of sweeping, oh. I actually. You didn't come up to me and say, do you have a blood pressure monitor that I can turn on? Yeah, can you snap a rubber glove in the background while I'm making this phone call? What does a stethoscope say? But let me do just say, I have co-workers that listen to this show. Mm-hmm. I would never say that I have a doctor's appointment to come record a show. No. Simply for the fact that at this point, I have so many doctor's appointments, it seems ridiculous the way that it is. Defensive much? I just threw out one. I am. It's just a throwaway. But I do have a lot of doctor's appointments. How's your health, Rob? What was great is when you said, I'm at a doctor's office, and I just looked at Dan and I said, no, she's not. I know. I know. You guys were being so loud in the background. We were doctors. Yes. Yes. I kept saying things like a- Damn noisy doctors. Coronary. Dermatitis. You know what? I want to say thank you. Septum. I want to say- I hardly know them. Thank you for what? Thank you to Mike O'Mara, Oscar Santana, and everyone at More Broadcasting for letting us come along for this ride. Thank you to everyone that has given us so much positive feedback on Facebook and through social media. 157%. Love it. I, um, not just Mike and Oscar, for their incredible support. Yes. Pony has been- And I can't- It's hard for me to call him Pony. I know him as Matt. Well, call him Matt. Do what I do. Call him Tony Bloom. He's not Tony Bloom. He's not? No. Okay, Matthew Bloom. Matthew Bloom. Gentile. I- He's a gentle fella. Yeah, but I mean Gentile. Don't you think when you looked at him and you heard the name Bloom, didn't you think Jewish? Oh, yeah. Not, though. I- It doesn't matter as much to you to me, apparently, but- Right. It surprised me. That's all. Okay, but, um- But Matt Bloom, Tony Bloom has been wonderful. He has been so helpful. And quite frankly, he's been really supportive. Yeah, yeah. He's been- He sends me little texts saying, you guys are- You guys are killing it. It's really fun. So- Sent you a text that said, what are you wearing? He really supports everything we do. He sends me the same text. That's not true. He invites me and Dan over for spaghetti dinners. You got invited to one of the pasta parties? Yes. We've been invited to two, but we have yet to go because they always fall when we have like something else that's like we're absolutely required to go to. I've been told that at the pasta parties, he always falls. I want to go. I'm intrigued. He's a good cook. He's a good cook. So, uh, yeah. Maybe someday I'll be invited to one. Maybe. Don't hold your breath. You got your own supper club. All right. Check us out on Facebook. That is a www.facebook.com slash Rob and Katie. Or of course our Twitter feed that's updated every 10 days without fail. I'm trying. At Rob and Katie. R-O-B-B-A-N-D-K-A-T-I-E. And the RSS feed that I'm not going to read this week. I just don't do it. So in your face. In your face. I'm not going to do it. Face. I have a Linus in my mouth. I want to ask you a question. I had a Linus hair in my mouth. Do you think we need to apologize for something that doesn't affect the people except maybe in the most trivial way? It did happen. It happened. They don't know that we inadvertently slighted them. Yes. We tried to record the Cake and Cookies program on Friday evenings. It seems to work out well for everybody. But my previous Friday evening tradition of having a drink, I thought maybe these two could coexist in a lovely way. I think they could coexist perhaps without liquor. And for me, white wine. So the Forbes Powers Von Hermanns came to my house at about 7 o'clock. All 16 of us. The entire family came in and they sang Edelweiss and were able to escape Austria. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. With the Nazis hot on their trail. His name is Von Hermann. I know. It was a Von trap. Don't be mistaken though. He's a lover, not a fighter. So you got here at about 7 and we started to plan the show. But when you got here, I was in the midst of one of my favorite rituals, mixing a cocktail. Because I thought maybe a cocktail before the show would be a great way to loosen up and get ready. I thought maybe you were showing off. I wasn't showing off. No, that's not showing off. I can do it. I've made a million of them. I love doing it. I can tell you've made a million of them. Quite frankly, I have never seen anyone. I have bartended. Yes. Dan has bartended. Yes. When you mixed it, even the amount of ice that you had in your, it poured perfectly. Not, nary a drop was left in that shaker. When I make an old fashioned, it's a game of inches. And I do it just right each and every time. Inches? Millimeters? Milliliters. And so I mixed myself a drink and I gave Dan a beer. Dan always says the same thing. I'm fine. And then when he sees everyone drinking, then he gets a beer. He doesn't want to be the first one. Really? I never noticed that. It usually happens that way. I love you, babe. What did you say? I'm polite. He's polite. Very polite. Oh. But I said, Katie, would you like a glass of wine? And you said, white wine? Yes, please. And I had a bottle chilled. Ice cubes? Do you have ice cubes? Do you have a machine in your refrigerator that makes ice cubes? Everything. And that's, and I'd had a really, really bad week, including a breakdown last Tuesday. Yes, yes. Yes. Uh, but, uh. You're better now. It's not like you almost cried on the way over. I did almost cry on the way over. But, just so we can put this to bed. But I had a really bad, yeah. After a seven o'clock arrival, we started to roll tape at about quarter to nine. No, here's the, and the other thing is, is Dan and I tried to come over earlier. Right. But you can't make seven o'clock. We, yeah. Because it's almost still happy hour. So, couldn't, we just couldn't get here. And it was, it was just, we just couldn't get here. Understood. And that was no big deal. It's always been the fact, since the studio is in my house. Can I tell you? We work on your schedule, largely. Because that's just a courtesy. And so, when the time you got here, and we started to talk about the show, and I made a second drink, and we looked over, and the bottle of white wine was empty. I apologize. No, no, it's fine. It was all me. It was, it's not like you had helpers, but we started the show. There were no helpers. And it wasn't, it's not that it wasn't work that we weren't proud of. How many negatives in there? Let me say that again. It's not that we weren't proud of the work. It's just not exactly what we set out to do. No, and there was no getting it back. And there really, it had spun out of control. The horseless carriage was over in the ravine. When we started talking about witchcraft, and not the Frank Sinatra song. No, you were burning, you were really getting ready to burn sage. To purify the air. I really felt like, there was some witchery going around. I don't know what happened. So we did record two segments that I saved, and I will revisit them. And if we want to release them in a different form another time, we shall see. But know this. We will have a box set? A different kind of audio vault at some point. Okay, good enough. Okay. So what happened is, as I said, we went to a break because Katie made a slashing motion against her throat. And I said, you know what? I think if you have some time available the first part of the week, let's try this again at that time. And that was a smart, smart idea. And it was a call we did, and that's what brings us here. So I got to ask you, how's your health? You teased the fact that you almost broke down in tears on the way here. I did. That's not a good sign. And honestly, that was part of what happened on Friday was I felt so... It's hard for, I think, people to understand. You can say, I don't feel well. Right. Or I feel badly. Right. Or I don't feel good. Uh-huh. You know, even though that's not... Yeah. Right. But when you have pain that stays with you and... Ongoing, lingering, unyielding. I believe they call it chronic pain. Yes. It's hard to... Because some days, like, you can just sort of breeze right over it. Sure. It's always there. Uh-huh. But I was in... I was having a really bad, in my jaw, pain day. Now, do we want to, as a means of a reset, and it's really not a reset, it would be a set. We've never discussed why you have chronic jaw pain. Ah. Uh, two years and one month ago. 25 months. I broke my jaw. How did this happen? Uh, you cook one steak wrong. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I said medium flame. Right. Um, I apparently grind my teeth in my sleep. A lot of people do. Okay. And this is going to freak some people out. Right. And this is one reason why. I, I've, I don't like to discuss it. Okay. Um. We can, we can move on if you want to. No. I want to talk about it. Okay, because it is, it's a theme. I want people to know this isn't going to happen to you. Okay. Like, it's a freak accident of what happened to me. Okay. So, I grind my teeth at night, and my dentist prescribed me a night guard. Okay. And this is an armed man to stand at your bedroom door. If you've ever seen House of Cards. With a big gun. Exactly. And he's, he's about ready to run off some, some woodpeckers. No, it's a, it's a rubber thing, I'm guessing, right? Um, it's, I mean, it's hard plastic. Okay. It's very, very hard plastic. All right. Um. Does it go in your mouth? Yeah. Yeah. It sits on my bottom. Yeah. That's horrible. Stop it. Yeah. It's. How dare you. It gets in the way of your social. Not my social life. Social mandates. Um, so. It's been years since I've had a mandate. Mm-hmm. So, you just, you're just now getting close with Dan. I know. We're playing it easy. So, it sits on my bottom teeth. And it's pretty standard for a lot of people. Okay. Um, but it was made for me, and it was made incorrectly. Oh. And it was made, uh, too thick in the back, where my molars hit. Okay. Okay. So, the first night that I had it, I guess, in my sleep, I bit down. And if you can imagine, like, putting a pencil. Yeah. In the back of your mouth. Uh-huh. Okay. And biting down as hard as you can. That joint is a pivot. Okay. I feel, I feel you. Yeah. So, one side dislocated. Oh. And the other side just, it's a ball and socket. Yeah. The ball part broke off. Wow. That's what happened. You really grind your teeth. I do. And probably have Dan living in constant fear. I don't know. Can you hear it when you can hear it? Yeah. Really? He says yes. Wow. Uh, I didn't, I didn't know that he could hear it. So, when you bit down and you dislocated your jaw based solely on the fact that you

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