Episode 113

#113. Dan Can’t Have Cheese

Cake & Cookies. The Robb & Katie Show

Date unavailable · 1 hr 9 min

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PodStreet Generated · Provider: Local-mlx-whisper · Model: mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo · Generated At 2026-09-07 23:27:33

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You have things to talk about.

If you want me to.

I do.

I'm in a lot of pain.

I'm back on steroids.

Okay, so let's go ahead and begin then.

I'm hoping that they don't.

Are you recording?

I am now.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm back on steroids,

and I'm hoping they don't affect the dissension of my testicles.

Between that and the menopause, you are really a mess.

Just waiting for my balls to drop.

Hold on.

Mike O'Meara, Radio Entertainment.

We always get it right the second time.

Come back.

Oh, wait.

Cake and Cookies,

the podcast that has nothing to do with cake or cookies.

It's Rob and Katie.

I thought we should start with Laughing Dude.

Yeah, every time.

So this is funny.

I see you, and I hear you, but I don't see Dan.

Well, he's sitting on the love seat with-

Yeah, he is.

With two snoozing pups.

The dogs are very tired.

They had a rough night.

They did.

Absolutely.

We had huge storms roll through, and yeah.

No storms here.

You guys didn't get any rain or anything?

I don't think so.

Of course, we are, you know, over the river and across the woods.

We can have different weather patterns.

Our sweet friend, poor Linda Herr, was trying to keep up with her sump pump in her basement.

Yeah, I saw that.

She said she wanted a swimming pool and then showed the deep and the shallow end of her basement.

I know.

It's so sad.

I've seen that happen.

We are saturated up here.

We've had so much weather.

Yeah?

Yeah, a lot of it.

So, like nine inches more of rain than we should have this month.

Good Lord!

Yeah, it's a lot.

Something like that.

Don't quote me on it.

I never quote you on anything.

I know that you're going to like-

Except for I hate zany.

I can see you running to a neighbor's house saying, well, let me tell you what Rob said.

And I quote.

I hate zany.

You have things to talk about. If you want me to. I do. I'm in a lot of pain. I'm back on steroids. Okay, so let's go ahead and begin then. I'm hoping that they don't. Are you recording? I am now. Okay. Yeah, I'm back on steroids, and I'm hoping they don't affect the dissension of my testicles. Between that and the menopause, you are really a mess. Just waiting for my balls to drop. Hold on. Mike O'Meara, Radio Entertainment. We always get it right the second time. Come back. Oh, wait. Cake and Cookies, the podcast that has nothing to do with cake or cookies. It's Rob and Katie. I thought we should start with Laughing Dude. Yeah, every time. So this is funny. I see you, and I hear you, but I don't see Dan. Well, he's sitting on the love seat with- Yeah, he is. With two snoozing pups. The dogs are very tired. They had a rough night. They did. Absolutely. We had huge storms roll through, and yeah. No storms here. You guys didn't get any rain or anything? I don't think so. Of course, we are, you know, over the river and across the woods. We can have different weather patterns. Our sweet friend, poor Linda Herr, was trying to keep up with her sump pump in her basement. Yeah, I saw that. She said she wanted a swimming pool and then showed the deep and the shallow end of her basement. I know. It's so sad. I've seen that happen. We are saturated up here. We've had so much weather. Yeah? Yeah, a lot of it. So, like nine inches more of rain than we should have this month. Good Lord! Yeah, it's a lot. Something like that. Don't quote me on it. I never quote you on anything. I know that you're going to like- Except for I hate zany. I can see you running to a neighbor's house saying, well, let me tell you what Rob said. And I quote. I hate zany. That's right. End quote. Close quotation marks. Close parenthesis. But you survived and you made a discovery about one of your pups. Oh, yeah. So, it turned- Okay, so Dan had already gone to bed. I was in the TV room. Right. By myself. And crazy thunder and lightning lit up the room. It was lit. You got woke. I got woke real fast. Well, I wasn't asleep. Right. Anywho, I think that we'll have to have Julia or someone explain that to us. So, I'm down. And then all of a sudden, both big kids are squished up against me on the couch. And that would be Judd and Presley. Yes, Judd and Presley. The senior dogs. Okay. Betsy doesn't seem terribly fazed by these things. Linus has no reaction to thunder whatsoever. It's crazy. But she just stayed snuggled up with Dan, who slept through the whole thing. Do you think it's a- I'm wondering, like, sometimes I wonder when dogs react to television, is that the sign of a very smart dog or a very stupid dog? Okay, so- So, I have to ask this same question about Betsy. The fact that she's not paying attention to thunder. I'm tracking with you on this. Okay, just wondering. It's like when you wonder, like, do I have any dumb friends? And then, well, maybe it's me. Yeah, maybe I'm the dumb friend. Like, if you look around at a card game, if you don't see who the sucker is, you're the sucker. Probably you. Yeah, probably you. So, I was like, okay, well, this is probably my cue to go to bed. Right. So, I go to brush my teeth, and Judd pauses at the- not pauses. With his paw. He pauses at the closet- Puns for dog owners. Yes. Right. He pauses at the- did we start the show? Yes. Remember, I played Laughing Dude. We didn't say the thing. Oh, yes. This is a semi-annual podcast in which we put our lives on the line. I've changed the wording a little bit. We put our lives on the line. On the line. To prove that your life, in comparison, ain't so bad. And dog puns. So, he pauses. So, he pauses at the closet- Continue with your tail. Which we've found him in there before, just like a juggly potter. He- that's where he goes when he goes. He goes under the steps with his little lightning bolt marking on his- Does he wear glasses ever? Of course. Just for reading. Just for reading, yeah. Yeah, he's got cheaters. So, I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and Presley is right beside me. And that's when she starts pawing at the bathtub and puts her front paws up on the edge of the bathtub. Oh. So, we knew that what- we always assumed it was Judd. Right. That got scared and got in the bathtub. Turns out, it's Princess Pretzelbutt. Yeah. In our house, it's Robert. He gets scared. Does he still fit? Yeah. Well, it's a- he stands. Oh, he's very tall. Yeah, very tall, very strong. Do you still have the Dan von Hermann shower curtain in there? No. I mean, I have it. But it's not- But it's not displayed. No. Just for holidays. He got creepy. Did it? It's weird if you're, like, going TT, and he's looking right there at you with his big- Yeah! I don't know. It kind of helps me. Scares it right out of me. As we mentioned last week, I am nearing 50, and I need all the tricks of the trade. Actually, it's funny- It's your birthday. March 8th. March. Stop right there. It's fine. Oh. It was the last moment in my life before the world fell apart. I actually had people over to my house on March 8th this year. And nine days later, they shut down Washington, D.C. The last thing I did was March 16th, I got my hair cut. Yeah. For St. Patrick's Day. Um, yes. Exactly. So- I mean, you know. Special occasion. I don't want to go into all of it, but I've moved every record I own this week. You totally want to go into all of it. No, I don't. I don't. I don't. And- Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Time. Time out. Steve, I might- I know we don't really drink anymore, but I know that there are makings for mimosas. There are. Ah. We're going to have to work on his mic technique. I don't know. I find it charming. In as much as he has none. What? Well, then- Dan, I can hear it when you're- if you're waving the microphone around, I can hear it. It's just a little extra zazz that I'm putting on it. Can you write that down? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that. Even though we were technically- This might be a big mistake. We were technically in a timeout, but I think we're fine. I think I like a mimosa for real. Okay. So make it happen. Turn his mic off. And there you have it. Did the hum go away, or is that just in- I think that's just for you. Yeah, okay. I think it is because I'm plugged- my headphones are plugged directly into the board. Do you have a gray thing between your power strip and your plug, like a three-prong to two-prong adapter? Sure do. That'll sometimes take care. Sure do. Well, then I'm out of ideas. Oh. But- I thought you were going to say that's what makes it. No, no, no. That's what would defeat it. So I'm going through- Every record that you are. When you're reshelving records, and we're talking about literally 36 feet of shelving, okay? When you have to estimate- I'm adding in and taking out, and like when you start at A, you don't know how much room to leave on one of the shelves before you go to the next one because it's going to fill up, and you want to minimize the moving around at the end. Are they not already in alphabetical order? There's about eight feet- Autobiographical. Beats per minute is how I do all of my records. Like a disco disc jockey. John. No, what happened is- Elton John. I- Jockey. Disc jockey. What I did is I- I inherited my Uncle George's record collection, which is sensational. So you- Oh, you had an integrated Uncle George's collection. Right, and in the effort to do that, I had to thin some out, and Julia, who was starting her collection, is sort of serving as like a secondary filter. She's taking some of the records. And she once said, I have duplicates and things of. Yeah. So, but there was a refrigerator hemmed in to the utility room where the record shelves were that- Damn refrigerator. Oh my Lord, you in this refrigerator. Well, we finally got it out. And so we're going- Yeah, it's gone. And so, but because of this, having to go through lots of stuff and box things and move things and heavy, heavy things. And anyway, so I had to move all this stuff. But because of this, on top of the record shelves are the boxes of 45s. And on the boxes of 45s, there's things. Things that have just been there. Because we've been in the house since Julia was in kindergarten. This is when we moved. Does it have it? No, you're right. You're right. We've been here since Julia was in second grade. So it's, I mean, it's 10 years. Is it that long? Yeah. Yeah. Because I remember your old- My God, we've known each other a long time. Yeah, yeah. Robert was in kindergarten. Julia was in second grade when we moved here. I remember your old house. Yeah, the one that was like across the way. Like across the street. Yeah, I know. That's a story that merits retelling someday that ain't today. Anyway, so all this stuff has- You're going to make it short. All these things have accumulated on top of these shelves because they've been there a long time. Random things. Extra jukebox light bulbs. Things like this. Oh, God. I know. A lazy Susan. I said, we have one of these? It's been there. I don't know. But the best thing that was- You don't have to call her name. I know. Well, she earned it. She's been there for 10 years and hasn't done anything. Okay, so why wouldn't you just get rid of that? Well, I'm going to. Oh. But it's just been there. Okay. But here's the thing. One of the things that was up there was a velvet Elvis portrait. One that I haven't hung. Now, I have a few around the house. But this one really would go well in the Elvis bathroom. Is there a room in the Elvis bathroom? Well, here's the thing. There's two places it could go. The mimosa is here. I realize this. The mimosa is here? I see the visual representation. Oh, definitely. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. What's happening? Oh. That was terrific. What? The sound of the popping cork. I thought you meant my- Both great. Both great. It was right by my head. I was concerned for my- I love the fact that you put yourself, your life on the line for the show. I mean, anything for good audio. So, the Elvis, the velvet, well, the big velvet Elvis will not fit in the Elvis bathroom. But the smaller one- There's not a whole lot of wall room- Left. Yeah. And you can't put it in the shower. It would get soggy. Why no? It would get soggy. Soggy velvet is the worst. Soggy velvet is a great soul music disc jockey name. This is soggy velvet. And here's to you. And may you be dead an hour before the devil knows you're dead. Champagne for Katie. And here we go. It's almost like a fruit wine. Fruit wine. Fruit wine. Fruit wine. It's the banana. So, there's two places that I can put the medium-sized 1968 black leather Elvis velvet painting up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You just said black leather. Yeah. Because it's Elvis and black leather from the 1968 comeback special. Oh, you don't love that. But painted on black velvet. I thought you were confusing your mediums. No, no. I haven't worn a medium in years. Have you heard about the dwarf- Can we say dwarf? Little people. Okay, do you hear about the little person clairvoyant that broke out of jail? No. Headlines read small, medium, at large. I feel attacked. Don't. I mean, I've never been to jail, per se. Well, you're- But you know, but you're not actually- I mean, you're a small- And I'm not clairvoyant. Yeah, you would have seen the joke coming otherwise. So- Anyway. It's so not funny when you know what's coming. I know. You know, never take a clairvoyant to like a comedy show. Or a mystery movie. Hated it. Of course. Saw Knives Out. Hated it. So- I loved Knives Out. Yeah, but not if you're clairvoyant. Oh, no. No. You can see it coming a mile away. Right on down the pike. So, you can't put Elvis in the- That's what I was going to say. Now, just like they used to say in 1977 in Graceland, you can't put Elvis in the shower. So- But nobody likes soggy Elvis. So, there's two places Elvis can go. Either behind the door, or where he's leaning right now, which i

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